article: Rethinking Success
by David Wann
co-author
of "Affluenza:
The All-Consuming Epidemic"
author of "The Zen of Gardening"
Dear Mom,
The conversation you and I had in our cottage during the family reunion prompted me to write. It was clear that you want me to be successful, the same way I hope your life and my own kids' lives are successful.
The question is, successfully what? When I shared with you that last year was a financial challenge because I was writing a book and didn't have time to earn much freelance income, you were worried. "A person needs to have enough to live a good life, and to provide for later years," you said. You also seemed to be saying, "Work harder. Make more money. Fluff up your life, like a pillow. Go back and get a real job again, quick."
When I assured you that despite the reduced income, it was one of the best years of my life, you seemed skeptical. You didn't realize how much meaning the work had for me, and how inspired I was by the insights of the people I interviewed. In combination with good friends, family, and continuing play, such as building a community garden, that work was enough. I didn't need much money.
Not that I think money is a bad thing. But it's not the wealth itself, which is contained in skills, natural diversity, bonds between people. For me, the important questions are, 'How did I get the money?' and 'How exactly do I plan to spend it?' How much of my life energy am I willing to trade for what stuff?
I literally don't buy it when the politicians and advertisers equate consumption with patriotism, because I've peeked behind the curtain at the mess we're making with our over-consumption. I believe we need a different, truly patriotic economy that asks, "how well?" rather than just "how much?" Since our conversation, I've thought about success a lot, and decided I'm doing okay in that category.
Here are a few examples of what I call success. When I recently served two very large bowls of organically grown salad from the garden to a group of forty appreciative friends, that felt like success -- good work that we could crunch on and taste, and that made us feel energetic.
When I went into a music store that stages jam sessions and somebody remembered a song I'd sung six years earlier, I considered that a success, even though it had nothing to do with money. Last week I got an email that thanked me for a talk I gave, and told me that one woman had tears in her eyes because my thoughts and observations moved her. Wasn't that success, in a real sense? And when I went in for a physical the other day and the doctor told me I had the heart of someone half my age, that felt like success, too, because of all the exercising, and the healthy food I've chosen to eat. To me, health is even more valuable than wealth.
During our spirited discussion at the reunion, you advised me not to be so demonstrative about my convictions, because I'll turn people off, and I won't be successful. But the way I look at it, unless I express my hopes and suggestions for a more livable future, I can't be successful in the full sense of the word. There's too much evidence now that our way of living has designed and mined itself into a corner. For example, we risk a stomachache to wolf down a fast-food burger but are clueless about the 600 gallons of water that went into the cow and the crops it ate, just for that one quarter-pounder.
The recent attack on the World Trade Center resulted in tragic losses of life and an ungodly mound of rubble, but the fact is, the stuff consumed annually by the average American family leaves four million pounds of rubble behind, in the landfills, mines and waterways of our world. Multiply that by a hundred million households and see how big the pile is. A Superbowl filled with compacted paper and plastic trash every day, at least. We don't see the slow, grinding impacts on our TV screens, but we feel them, somehow, in our daily lives. We feel a sense that things are getting out of control.
That's why I'm writing, Mom. Other things just don't seem as important. Except this-you do know I love you, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David Wann is co-author of Affluenza: The All-Consuming
Epidemic and author of The Zen of Gardening. He lives and gardens
in a cohousing community in Golden, CO that he helped design. Contact
him at wanndavejr@cs.com."
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